Monogamy Marriage
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“I Do. Not: Why I Won’t Marry”
Catherine in her essay expresses her views about monogamy marriage that is a norm in the culture. She has a two year old son yet they are not married till the time of a wedding yet nobody bothers. She describes the wedding occasions and the norms that have to be observed at such occasion. She thinks that marriage is simply handing over a woman like a baton from the parents to the husband. In her society, women are valued on their own and the family have to pay dowry of which she feels is a “bribe” to a man’s family to marry the lady off.
Newman brings out a comparison about the past beliefs and practices with what is happening currently. She feels that modernity have brought a lot changes into the whole marriage issue making women bare less disconcerting resemblance of objects. She feels that religion have used marriage as an institution for homophobic legislation not considering it could be fragile. She brings into discovery her past life and her preference for women, and then brings on the issue of Michael presenting himself. Catherine is boggled with the issue of her sexuality.
Catherine has a feeling that if she ended up in another relationship, then she would be denied the privilege of getting married. She felt that as a bisexual, one has to give up a lot to commit to a man, yet they do not believe in monogamy, an open honest non-monogamy could be an ideal solution. Even as much as people are possessed with jealousy and the feeling of possession, a third person in a relationship is never moved. The fact that was clear in the heads of Michael and Catherine.
Michael could not just possess her, because she did not want to be possessed. Though sometimes she felt that Michael would demand they marry and have full possession of her. This brings conflicting sexuality feelings within Catherine, who feels that all the same, the best life partner is the sort of person who does not crave possession. Catherine brings out an issue about being attached without being married, and choosing not to divorce because of marriage feeling that not being married attracts partners more to each other. She describes her choice of Michael over and over again all because of goodies and his manly support and being tolerant to her. They finally bind through a common law and have their kid to keep them, and in the final part of her essay accept and commit to Michael for the rest of her life.