Understanding a Home Burial
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Understanding a Home Burial
The poem by Robert Frost is a kind of narrative about grief, desire and love, as well as a kind of strained relationship of a man and a woman (wife and husband in a rural setting). The root of the problem is on the woman’s catching distress on seeing the grave of their child when the man does not recognize the distress in his wife. This is not strange in any kind of marriage relationship, and as Smalley (126) notes, is an experience every adult has to go through. Adding his voice to this debate, Newman (422) writes that every kind of marriage is unique, and the problems that clobber the marriage cannot be solved the same way. In his analysis, Randall Jarrell tends to blame the man for the extent to which the problems have come to be. Showing this, he gives an example of the use of always to mean that this is not the first time there have been such problems “From up there always-for I want to know.”
He is commanding in his voice, and by the use of rhetorical announcement, we only can get the idea that he tries to be on top of all issues, perhaps giving no room for her expressions. In understanding women, Biaggio (183) notes that poor communication is one thing that can easily make a woman distressed in a marriage, and a man should be in apposition to learn these problems to come up with solutions. Giving his view on the same, Baskett (10) adds that adopting shortcuts could be the way to solving such kind of problems which purely emanates from the man. This as analyzed by Randall Jarrell is the problem and noted in sentences from the man like, “I will find out now.” Such is like a command, and when the woman is not ready to take such commands, then, she has her own defense mechanism.
The man is seen to be a poor understanding person, and he makes her know of his problem by saying of his family graves, “We haven’t to mind those.” Grieves are always to be shared, and if one becomes accustomed to such, then, it is not everybody who can do that. Therefore, it was very bad of the man to give such kind of utterances, as they would only extend the problems. As for guidance and counseling, Rao (235) is specific that such problems are deep in the families, and the lack of understanding between the two partners can actually lead to strained relationship. This can hurt the whole purpose of them being together, and in the end, the relationship may just fail to work. For a man, and knowing how emotional women are, the best way to do was to tone down the voice and try some bits of understanding of the situation his wife is. He may be having little of these feelings, but he should be compassionate enough to a level that the woman could understand as to mean total care for the whole situation.
The man is too straightforward, and even though it could be justified as to be emanating for some kind of anger, or perhaps the wife is too nagging, this is not the right way to go. Randall gives an example of the sentence, “He sat and fixed his chin between his fists”; then …there’s something I should like to ask you, dear.” Those conversations should not exist in a marriage. The use of should is too explicit that the man was serious on what he was to say and this could even terrify. The best thing to have in a marriage is the human nature or what Cox (120) notes about as human intimacy in a relationship. Noting the situation, the two characters are in somewhat a sharing moment, and when a man takes such kind of sides, then, the likelihood is that the woman would understand that to mean he is not with her. The death of a baby is something that needs the comfort of the two parents.
Baskett, Thomas. Munro Kerr’s Operative Obstetrics. Philadelphia: Elsevier Health Sciences, 2007.
Biaggio, Maryka. Issues in the Psychology of Women. New York: Kluwer Academic Publishing, 2000.
Cox, Frank. Human Intimacy: Marriage, the Family, and Its Meaning, Research Update. Belmont: Wadsworth CengageBrain Learning, 2008
Newman, Barbara. Development through Life: A Psychosocial Approach. Belmont: Wadsworth CengageBrain Learning, 2008.
Rao. Counseling and Guidance. New Delhi: Tata McGraw-Hill, 1991.
Smalley, Gary. The Language of Sex: Experiencing the Beauty of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage. California: Gospel Light Publishers, 2008.