Different Views about Love and Relationships
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Tom and Summer express extremely different views about love and relationships. The attitude of Summer towards love and intimate relationships is unique and contrasting to that of Tom. The two apparently represent two opposite sides of the current generation. Tom and Summer have different attitudes towards love and relationships since their affair started until it dissolved. The duality of being in love and that of believing true love is illusion show Tom’s ambivalence and Summer’s causality towards romance and relationships.
The attitude she has about love can be attributed to Summer’s character. She is humorous, charming, sweet, and funny, character traits that Tom likes greatly. However, she exhibits mystery and is distant as well as casual about important issues in life. A relationship is one of the things she treats casually. She agrees to date Tom and goes ahead to make love with him severally. In spite of engaging closely with Tom, she does not consider the latter as anything rather than a male friend. Her staying with him has nothing to do with love; she is simply living with him for purposes of deriving fun. Summer admits she is aware how casually she treats Tom, but a claim that is all she is able to do because she is not able to love anything. Though she knows Tom loves her long hair, she asserts she can have it cut off without feeling anything; she does not mind Tom’s reaction to the act.
The two lovers share only two views about love: sharing and hanging out together. Interestingly, during a few select occasions, Summer takes the initiative to connect with Tom at a close, personal level the latter could not imagine. She invites him to her apartment, which is quite artsy. During the visit, Summer opens up eventually, narrating all the experiences she has gone through since she was a young girl. This increases Tom’s sense of self-worth; he feels appreciated because he believes Summer has never gone that far with anyone else since she was born. The instance is distinct from others in the movie, as her attitude towards love has compared to that of Tom.
While Tom’s attitude seems ordinary and up to date, that of Summer is strange and startling. Tom looks like an ordinary youthful man who sees and loves, for this is the stage when the need to have a partner of the opposite sex is at its climax. On the other hand, Summer chooses to remain enigmatic; she underscores the uncertainty that is usually engrained in all forms of relationships. At times, Tom even thinks he is responsible for having her figured out. At other times, the situation is completely different, and it appears to Tom as if Summer and him have never met. Summer remains indifferent at all these times (Webb, 2009).
Tom’s attitude about love is in line with what most young men and women would prefer. He believes that a loving relationship is based on a number of compromises, and he is ready and willing to do so. He refers this to as ‘I move a few inches towards you; you move a few inches towards me’. Nevertheless, Summer is of the contrary opinion. She refuses to compromise on anything and continues holding onto dogmas that Tom does not like. The author describes Summer as one who does what she wants any time she feels like. While this trait might seem admirable, one needs to draw the line at some point when issues of love and intimate relationships are involved.
Summer starts having startling attitude towards love at the beginning of the film. She makes it quite clear that she is not looking for a lover and that she does not believe in true love. Tom does not pay any attention to these warnings because he is extremely desperate at this time. In a short time, he has grown attached to her strongly. After their break up and Summer‘s eventual engagement with another man, Tom enters into severe psychological disturbance. This is clear evidence he treats relationships as some kind of solace where one can have all his problems solved (Webb, 2009).
Tom’s attitude may have been influenced by his state when he meets Summer. He is romantic, but extremely hopeless when he meets Summer. The author describes Tom’s first meeting with Summer vividly and interestingly. They first meet at Karoke bar booth scene. At first sight, Tom is convinced that Summer is ‘The One.’ On the other hand, the pragmatist Summer does not believe there is a thing like love and adoration at first sight. She, however, admits that she is not quite certain about the broad concept of intimate love and interpersonal affairs. She believes she can like Tom and suggests they can become friends, probably with many benefits. Her view is that laughing, flirting, and hanging out, and the ultimate progression of things to a further step do not indicate intimacy. In spite of Summer's insistence that she lacks the ability to enter into a serious relationship, Tom holds delusions that the latter is only falling head-over-heels. The author describes Tom as having remained on Cloud Nine until his expectations and reality dampened this ardor.
Tom knows important events in life have a tendency to take place unexpectedly, but in many occasions, some persons may fail to get a thing they want badly. In his case, Tom really wants to get into a serious relationship. He tries to push the thought away subconsciously but unsuccessfully. He believes a relationship would bring him happiness in life. In this case, however, he ends up attracting somebody who is not right for him. The girl she gets is one who is just interested in a casual, short-term affair. Along the course of this relationship, nonetheless, he is not able to initiate the act of ending the affair despite the obvious indifference shown by his partner. This indicates a belief love requires intensive perseverance.
Tom has fallen in love, not with Summer herself, but the Summer idea. Tom’s attitude apparently supports stunning beauty as one of the features in a girl that should attract a man. This is what hampers Tom’s consideration of what Summer had told him. The attitude of ‘just friends’ does not go down well with Tom. He wants Summer and him to belong and live with one another. Given that Summer is not for this, attitude can be looked as ‘polar opposites’ can attract.
In conclusion, Tom and Summer have been in a relationship, where their different attitudes towards love and relationships have ultimately led to their separation. While Tom has a positive attitude towards love, Summer does not believe true love exists. Tom believes Summer and him belong to each other and sticks to Summer though she is not committed. It is only when Summer moves out with another man that Tom gives up but takes long to recover from the resultant depression (Webb, 2009).