Development Stages of Interracial Relationship
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Development Stages of Interracial Relationship
Race is a fundamental, integral part of life and is pervasive everywhere, in any institution, and in every cultural aspect. Inherently racist behaviors, attitudes, stereotypes, and biases are bound to occur in an interracial relationship. For this reason, interracial relationships are not easy to begin and maintain. In addition to the stages of development any relationship goes through, the interracial one has to work through four others, which make the couples devise ways to deal with many obstacles before they establish long-term commitments. Interracial relationships undergo the distinct developmental stages including awareness of race differences, coping, emergence of identity, as well as maintenance (Foeman & Nance, 2002).
The first stage is called the racial awareness. During this stage, the couple develops awareness that there is mutual attraction between them. Both cultural and interpersonal experience may play a role in this awareness. Acquaintance between the two individuals goes hand in hand with familiarization of similarities and differences. Nevertheless, progression of this stage requires the couple to believe they have the potential of being in a relationship. Awareness principally involves a number of perspectives. Each person’s own perspective is as important as that of his or her partner. The same applies to the perspective of the collective racial group versus that of the partner’s race. It is not mandatory for the couple to acknowledge or even discuss the existence of the perspectives. However, they affect the decisions the partners make significantly. Decisions as simple as whom to hang out with and/or the perspectives described above may influence partners substantially. Obviously, people whose cultural backgrounds are different will not be expected to respond to issues in the same way. The way outside parties look at the couple also bears a lot of importance. This pressurizes the couple to frame their affair alongside traditional attitudes and social roles.
In the stage of awareness, communication tends to downplay race as a major influence in their likes and distastes. A common perspective is brought out and articulated on how race played a race when they were getting attracted. For example, one partner may say, “I like relaxing in bars on Friday night” versus “Let us go to the bar; it is a Friday night (Foeman & Nance, 2002).
The sensitivity to the place of the race of the partner contributes to the increasingly rising awareness. By place of the race, it means how people from a given race treat each other in society, the natural role that each of them plays, and the profile of each person. Each person discovers the place of his or her race through direct communication or social situations in which the two may be. Eating habits, music, and preferences are issues of cultural sensitivity that require time and effort to acquire. A careful examination of each of the activities under a lens that is culturally sensitive is necessary, as any change in one partner’s view of the environment and the affair may be disastrous to their relationship.
The second stage is more complex than the first. It is a stage involving the couple’s ability to cope with racial social definitions. In this stage, the knowledge obtained from the stage of awareness is applied further to spin the relationship ahead. Many couples may not have accepted their relationship yet at this stage. Others may also fail to accept the two as a couple capable of developing long-term commitment. The negative attitudes from others have a significant impact on the interracial relationship. The couple may end up not developing a strong bond as originally intended due to the attitudes. However, when the couple starts making decisions together, insulation against the societal attitudes is often achieved. A good way of getting protection against societal attitudes, however, is avoiding any situation that may lead to persuasion by others. For example, the couple may choose, not to attended social functions where only close family members are invited. Additionally, the bars the couple used to frequent may be avoided, and social events such as weddings and burials attended only briefly. The communication will vary, and this depends on the partner’s race. Co-cultural communication, however, will involve a wide variety of consultations between the two. An example is “It is time to let our parents know.”
The third stage entails emergence of identity. The couple starts taking control over their each other’s self-image. This makes redefinition to recur. Differences are no longer obstacles to attempt to overcome, but a new source of the much-needed strength. Self-sustaining behaviors develop at this stage. Once the couple overcomes the fear of sharing their problems openly, the society begins incorporating the idea of interracial relationships slowly by slowly and views the affairs positively. A person may develop behaviors, emotions, or attitudes reflective of multiple races. Racial identity tends to reflect the method and degree of consciousness to racism. The impact of belonging to one race or the other, and awareness may render some minority races unrecognized at all. Not all people might be racists, but they are all exposed to cultural, social, and institutional messages that promote the vice. Couples are no exception to such exposure. Communication in this stage will be influenced greatly by apprehension and will be directed at shielding against potential break up. Ultimatums may dominate the talk. For example, one partner may say, “This is becoming too much.”
The final stage involves maintaining the relationship. The couple at this stage has gained some perspectives as well as strategies of moving their relationship forward. The fourth stage involves using these perspectives and strategies to identify their past failures in order to enable them begin long-term agreement. Strategies they find to have worked before are advanced further and those that have a tendency to derail the relationship are done away with. The way the couple communicates usually becomes an integral part of how they view others and how others view them. Communication is known to shape and reshape this last stage of any interracial relationship and is thus put in a manner that tends to maintain the relationship for a long period. For instance, a person may say, “We have persevered all through, and nothing ought to come between us.”
An acceptance and deeper appreciation of differences among races only become real during the fourth stage. As the two, individuals peruse opportunities for engagement in numerous cross-cultural encounters. Feelings of fear and hostility may also be rife during stage 4 accompanied with a retreat to each person’s indigenous culture. Behaviorally and cognitively, intercultural contacts may be pushed away completely. Minority groups usually trigger this process of retreat. A clear distinction of the final stage has elements of transition and internalization of the culture from which each of the partners hails (Foeman & Nance, 2002).
It is important to note that, the stages described above do not lock in the relationship. Since the process begins at self-awareness, it is obvious each person will have reached a certain level of personal awareness even before the two meet. Other partners may feel they never had enough experience in a given stage, and thus revisit it. In addition, one partner may adjust faster than the other based on his or her upbringing and the background from which each hails. Therefore, in an interracial relationship it is not surprising to find partners who are in different stages of the development of their relationship.