Love Types and the making and Breaking of Relationships in the Film “When Harry Met Sally”
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Introduction
The topic of choice in this paper is love types. The film that is chosen to typify the creation of relationships is “When Harry Met Sally”. This film was chosen because of several reasons. First, the film was chosen due to its simple plot, which allows one to follow the events in the film. Secondly, the film was selected because it clearly brings out the theme of love types. Thirdly, the award-winning film was chosen due to its high quality and popularity. Not only did it rake in extremely high amounts upon distribution but it has also been consistently ranked as a top comedy film for years on end. It is thus widely acclaimed by critics as a well-scripted and well-acted film and this informed the decision to select it.
The film selected to typify the breaking of relationships is “Kramer vs. Kramer”. This particular film was selected because it clearly depicts love types in the context of a breaking relationship. Additionally, Kramer vs. Kramer is an intense, high-octane film that appeals to the emotions and brings out the hurts and pitfalls inherent in a divorce, thereby amplifying the concept of love types. This helped in selection of the movie since the theme, though subtle at times, could be clearly discerned and followed. The third factor upon which selection of this movie was made was that this is a film that I watched as a kid and it had a big impact on my thought processes. Relating to it therefore was rather easy.
Topic Outline
There are different types of love. Love can be filial, platonic, or romantic. Filial love is brotherly or sisterly love and is a feeling of affection existent between relations. Platonic love is a feeling of affection between two people who are not related and where there is no sexual intimacy. As opposed to platonic love, there is sexual involvement or feelings of sexual arousal between two people in romantic love. Romantic love may involve people of opposite sex or even those of the same sex. This topic seeks to resolve the debate as to whether there can be a platonic relationship between people of the opposite sex. Stated differently, the main objective of the paper is to explore the notion that a man and a woman can be friends without getting involved in sexual activities or have a friendship that is devoid of sexual feelings or desires.
Another aspect of love types that will be explored in this paper relates to the notion of females who are high-maintenance. High maintenance girlfriends are viewed by society as materialistic females who demand too much in terms of financial input from their male partners. They want the finest clothing, cars, food, holidays, gifts, and jewelry and have an eye for the most expensive items. They are stereotyped as females who are hard to please and cannot love penniless males. Their type of love is thus conditional and fleeting and depends largely on the circumstances of their partners. This paper also addresses the topic of high-maintenance girlfriends from the viewpoint of society, their male counterparts, and the girlfriends themselves.
Still on the types of love, there is the notion of transitional love. Transitional love can be defined as the type of love that is fleeting and impermanent. It involves feeling of affections between a person who is looking for intimacy from his or her partner but not fulfillment. In other words, it is a type of love where one is in a relationship with his or her partner while on the lookout for his or her ideal partner. The love is not meant to last because one of the partners in the relationship views the other as a less ideal partner and would be happy to move on to another “ideal” partner as soon as an opportunity presents itself. It is like a soft landing from a broken relationship and a launching pad to another more fulfilling relationship. This paper explores whether there is such a thing as transitional love and attempts to dissect this notion in the context of the two films that have been chosen.
Examples from the Film that Illustrate how the Topic is Operationalized
In “When Harry Met Sally”, there are several examples that illustrate the topic of love types. On the question of whether there can be a friendship between members of the opposite sex that is devoid of sexual desire or intimacy, the film provides a couple of pointers. The first example is at the beginning of the film when Harry shares a ride with Sally. The two talk about relationships and debate on whether a man can be a friend with a woman without getting sexually intimate. Whereas Harry is of the opinion that there can be no friendship between a man and a woman without sex, Sally is adamant that there can indeed be a strong friendship between a man and a woman that is devoid of sex. This is the source of their disagreement (Reiner, 1989).
The example provided above is a perfect stereotype of the thinking by members of the different sex. Although there may be many exceptions to this rule, the stereotype is that males will often think of sex whenever they have female friends who are attractive. On the other hand, females may have other ideals and sex may be the last thing on their minds. As such, females are likelier to view a friendship with a member of the opposite sex as platonic while their male friends expect the relationship to lead on to sex. Harry typifies this male mindset while Sally is representative of the overriding female thinking. In essence, therefore, the film captures a stereotype that is so prevalent in the society.
Harry and Sally meet again on the same plane after five years and the same discussion ensues. There seems to be a change of minds. Whereas Harry wants them to be just friends, Sally refuses citing Harry’s previous assertion that sex always gets in the way of male-female relationships. They meet again after some years and become very close friends. Later on, they get intimate and this brings tension into their friendship (Reiner, 1989).
On the other hand, it is possible to have a friendship devoid of sex during the breaking of a relationship. This is illustrated in the film Kramer vs. Kramer. After the breakup of the main characters, Ted Kramer and his wife Joanna Kramer, there is no attraction between them. Their friendship is purely platonic. It is also illustrated by the friendship between Margaret and Ted. After Margaret left Ted, he became great friends with Margaret who was his next-door neighbor. They spend a lot of time together and share a lot between them. However, their friendship is platonic and there is no sexual involvement between them (Benton, 1979).
Conclusion
The conclusion is that during the creation of relationships, it is impossible for a male and a female to have a friendship devoid of sex. Harry and Sally prove it. Even though their sexual experience is unplanned, it happens when Harry is comforting Sally after breakage of her relationship with another man and after she becomes attracted to Harry. The key word here is attraction to Harry. On the other hand, there can be friendship without sex during the breaking of a relationship. This is evidenced by the friendship between Ted and Margaret after his separation from Joanna.